


how will i know (if you really love me)?

by nyckolodeo_n



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Oblivious, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-12 23:55:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10502115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyckolodeo_n/pseuds/nyckolodeo_n
Summary: “Come on, Thomas, fess up.” John says. He’s a bit louder than he probably means to be, and he smiles apologetically at Professor Franklin when he glares in their direction. The class turns to stare at the two of them and Thomas lowers his head in embarrassment. Out of the corner of his eye, Thomas can see Alexander looking worriedly at him and he minutely shake his head to let his friend know that everything is okay. His frown lessens, but his eyebrows are still furrowed as he turns back to listen to Franklin drone on about parts of the brain and how they contribute to psychological studies. “Everyone knows you guys are dating, y’know. There’s even a betting pool to see when you guys will come clean.”“A betting pool?” Thomas whispers back, confusion obvious in his voice.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hotsalsa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotsalsa/gifts).



> yet another multichapter fic that i will take months to finish  
> no i don't own hamilton  
> title from Sam Smith's "How Will I Know"

“Are you dating Alexander and James?”

Thomas’ hand stops writing down notes from his psychology book and looks up towards the source of the question. John is staring at Thomas quizzically, one eyebrow raised as he waits for him to come up with an answer. Thomas’ mouth opens on its own accord to answer, but he closes it again. The thing is that Thomas isn’t sure he actually has one. Furrowing his eyebrows in confusion, Thomas tilts his head slightly sideways to show John that he is confused, that he doesn’t really understand the question. Sure, James and Alexander are dating, have been for a while (much to Thomas’ dismay), but he’s not really sure what that has to do with _him_. John rolls his eyes at the taller man like he is an idiot, and for a second he actually feels like one.

“Come on, Thomas, fess up.” John says. He’s a bit louder than he probably means to be, and he smiles apologetically at Professor Franklin when he glares in their direction. The class turns to stare at the two of them and Thomas lowers his head in embarrassment. Out of the corner of his eye, Thomas can see Alexander looking worriedly at him and he minutely shake his head to let his friend know that everything is okay. His frown lessens, but his eyebrows are still furrowed as he turns back to listen to Franklin drone on about parts of the brain and how they contribute to psychological studies. “Everyone knows you guys are dating, y’know. There’s even a betting pool to see when you guys will come clean.”

“A betting pool?” Thomas whispers back, confusion obvious in his voice. The person sitting on the other side of him snickers at them, and Thomas glares in their direction to shut them up. Pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose where they’re slipping down, he turns back to John, notes completely forgotten. He’s sure Alexander will give them to him later if he asks. Thomas can copy them down during their movie night after James’ 5:30 class gets out. “Why would there be a betting pool?” Then as an afterthought says, “When did you bet for?”

“Oh, I lost a while ago. I bet on you all for Alexander’s birthday.” Thomas blinks at him, remembering how James and Alex had tried to insist that he join them for Alex’s small celebration and how they had been upset when he had said no. Thomas feels hope spark in chest and then decides to put it to rest. No need to get his hopes up, John is being ridiculous. He tells John as much. “Don’t be so up in arms about it, Thomas, everyone knows already.” John rolls his as he says this, turning back to face Professor Franklin before he calls them out again. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone since you’re being so adamant about it,” he whispers and winks at him once before he turns his full attention back to the front of the classroom, starting to take notes again like he never stopped.

Thomas wants to yell at him, make him understand that there’s nothing _to_ tell anyone. John has always been one for dramatics and rumors, so Thomas tries to ignore him, but it isn’t working. What does John mean, ‘everyone knows?’ Thomas doesn’t even know, and this is about _his_ life. He sits through the rest of class in a daze, not really knowing what Franklin is saying, until he senses movement around him and goes through the motions of packing up and preparing himself for the long trek to Professor Adams’ classroom on the other side of campus. He doesn’t notice Alex’s worried glances he sends Thomas’ way while the taller man leaves class without a word, and he doesn’t hear John call after him either.

He spends the walk with his headphones in and his head down, trying not to think too much into John’s words. Of course, at this, he fails miserably. The only thing he can bring himself to think about is the conversation between him and John, and the implications that go along with it. Thomas turns the _Watsky_ he’s listening to up a little and shakes his head to clear his thoughts. He takes a deep breath and continues his journey to his Law lecture.

When he finally gets to class and signs his name on the roll, his heart still feels like it’s going to fall out of his chest and his breath is shorter than it should be. He can sense when James sits next to him, nods in acknowledgement to his friends, and they sit there in silence for the rest of the time they have before Adams starts to drone on about the principals of law. Under the desk, Thomas can’t help but ring his hands together in nervous anticipation. If everyone “knows” like John claims, does that mean James does to? Has he really been this obvious about his feelings all this time? He chances a look at James out of the corner of his eye, and sees his friend typing away happily at his phone. He doesn’t seem to notice or pay any mind to the fact that Thomas is a jittering mess in the seat next to him. Which is just as fine for him, because it means he can panic in near quiet.

Thomas rubs his hands off on his pant leg and then goes about the process of setting up his desk for class; he pulls out his laptop and plugs it in, gets his voice recorder ready to keep track of notes he may not be able to take down, and he mutes his phone and shoves it in the bottom of his backpack to minimize distraction. He unlocks his laptop, sets up his word document with the proper header and bullet point preferences, and rests his hands on his lap while he closes his eyes to rest the last few seconds he may have to get ready for his lecture. He feels a hand on his arm, and subconsciously smiles at the warmth that comes from James’ palm. His friend squeezes his arm once before he lets it drop, and Thomas is finally ready to listen to Adams, no matter how stupid the other man’s opinions are. Adams walks in right at 11:20 and immediately begins lecture, not stopping between closing the door and turning on the projector to welcome the students to class. Thomas is immediately immersed in the lesson, and any weird thoughts John put in his head are immediately gone.

Halfway through the lecture, when he notices how close him and James are sitting, and how their ankles are casually crossed over one another’s, he stops typing mid-note and stares at the floor where he can see their feet. It’s something they’ve always done, something they’ve never thought twice about. Sharing personal space is like second nature for them, and for him and Alex now that he thinks about it, and it’s nothing more than that. But then, James notices him staring and reaches over to softly tap Thomas’ wrist to get him to keep up with the notes. Thomas jumps so hard in his seat, the entire class stares at him before turning their attention back to their professor just a few seconds later. Thomas slinks down in his seat, but continues to type away at his keyboard as if nothing happened. His cheeks are heating up and he can feel James staring at him worriedly. Thomas just shakes his head and ignores the butterfly feeling he gets when James taps his wrist again.

Thomas is going to _kill_ John.

**Author's Note:**

> feedback always welcome  
> come talk to me [here!](http://nyckthewriter.tumblr.com)


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